Shattered In My Soul

It’s that deep deep sorrow
And you can’t even lift your eyes
Every moment feels like you’re moving through water
And it’s hard to breathe
Struggling to take in air but you’re only taking on more water
You’re drowning
And no one can hear you scream

Piles of trash and tissues build up around you
Pull the blanket further over your head so you don’t have to see
Turn on the tv so you don’t have to face reality
Where have all your loved ones gone?
Text LOL so they won’t know
That you’re dying slowly in your soul
So far gone the tears won’t come
Cause you’re so used to stuffing it down
Keep stuffing it down
Hoping the bin doesn’t over flow

Say everyone’s got problems
Mine are so small
Don’t want to waste other’s time
When folks are dying in the streets
At least I’m alive
I act like I’m alive
Take a shower put on clean clothes
Paste on a smile so it won’t show
Keep it together in public
Hold it all in till I cross my threshold

The pants come off
So does the smile
Crawl into bed and cry for a while
Maybe I’ll eat
Maybe I won’t
Think I’ll just go to sleep
Can’t buy what I’m really hungry for
Open my eyes
Curse the dawn
Hair of the dog
Shit all my cigarettes are gone
Sit on the edge of the bed and spend thirty minutes trying to find the strength to put my socks on

How can I face the world?
I don’t want to face the world
So I lay back down
Pull the covers over my head
Sleep a few more hours
Do you know what it’s like to be the living dead?
Well, now you know
But you’ll never really know
Pray you won’t ever know
How it feels to be shattered in your soul

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About fenifuego

Just trying to make sense of myself and the world.
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